Posts Tagged ‘Rough Start’

Well, 2009 is off to a rough start, I was laid off today. Just as I was starting to gain some hope, self esteem, and a promise of a better year than the last. I am feeling pretty down today. I just wish that all this could be fixed. The economy, my failed marriage, life in general. You always hear people say, if I could do it all again knowing then what I know now. Well that phrase takes on new meaning after you go through certain trials in life. I think back to the decisions that I have made and wonder what in the world I was thinking. And if, only if, I could go back and tell myself a few things. Just a whisper in my ear. A note in the sand. A chill down the spine, just something to warn me of the results of my selfish decisions. Things would be different. But, as we all know. That’s not possible. No matter how many times I click my heels, here I am. So what now. Well, they say that you should learn from your mistakes and not make them again. OK. Well easier said than done. Some mistakes are easy to remember. Don’t touch the hot oven racks. Don’t talk back to your father. But what do you do about the little ones. The ones that you see yourself making over and over. How do you break the cycle. How do you force yourself to not do the things that you have done and failed over and over. I guess over time some of them eventually sink in. But the stubborn ones, what can you do? I hoped to make 2009 the year of change. But it’s off to a rough start. I know. Keep your head up. Things will get better. God has a plan. I know all the things that everyone wants to tell you when your feeling down. But when life’s grains of sand are like boulders in your path, its hard to see the ocean. I just want to go swimming! So, anyways, I thought I would make this post, as a marker for where I am now. I hope to look back at this post in January of 2010 and laugh with a sense of accomplishment. Only I can make it happen. I know that. But a job would help :0)


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